I hate all girls vehemently.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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