His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
