Hey man sorry I got all grabby
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
