If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
