I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
