i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize