is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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