Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
