to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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