They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
