first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
