Your dad touched me again.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
you inspire me to be a worse person
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
