Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
