Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
