I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
