Midget sex pt 2 tonight
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
