It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
