she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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