i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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