Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I look better un-naked...
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
