Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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