They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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