She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize