also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
