I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
