I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
