you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize