Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
