How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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