this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize