physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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