I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
