im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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