if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
