my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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