I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
