So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
