and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
