Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
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