mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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