I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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