We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
