STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
