was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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