i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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