Plan B is the new Plan A
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize