i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
