Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
