I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
