What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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