From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I am available for nakedness
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize