Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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