Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
So squirting runs in the family.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
