there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
