Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize