im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
