Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Randomize
