New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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