Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
