the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
