I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Sorry my hands just texted you
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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