the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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