Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize