How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
