Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Randomize
