Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
