Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
