.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
