You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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