There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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