i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Randomize
