you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I want to fling myself into the sun
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
