Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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