Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
