I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
