Do you still have your period?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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