How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
