i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
