At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
