If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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