trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
